Most of you know that I am a huge fan of Dolph Lundgren – but holywhattheshitthisistooawesometobetruebutit’struelifenever
ceasestoamazefuckingtooawesomeforthespacebar!!!!111!!!1
Apparently armed thieves broke into his house, tied up his wife and forced her to give them cash and jewelry- now that’s not cool at all, but this is: They fled as soon as they saw a picture of Dolph Lundgren in the house because they did not realize they were messing with Dolph Lundgren and they know, as you all should, DOLPH LUNDGREN DOES NOT FUCK AROUND! Read the whole deal here.
Seriously, Dolph Lundgren would be a ninja except he’s too fucking big (6’5″) and smart (160 IQ) to be a ninja – he’d hire a ninja to mow his lawn while he cured Swine Flu by punching it into submission and creating a vaccine out of it’s flu-tears.
I know I’m throwing out all my priceless antique art and portraits of Tony Danza and putting up only pictures of Dolph Lundgren around. Sorry girlfriend, Dolph’s picture keeps my wallet and cubicle safer than you do. Hell I’m gonna put another picture of him on this website so no one spams me or sends me a virus.
See? I feel safer already.
